Well, here we are! The group, on our retreat this weekend. My camera is broken so I´m using other people´s photos.
I´m going to be honest, I wrote up something to post but am going to write something different.
I´m hitting a wall. Tonight was really frustrating. I love my host mom, really, she´s great. But it is really difficult for me to live with someone I need to be accountable to all the time. All the time. As a woman, I cannot be out after dark without a male escort. Ok. Fine. But as soon as I get home, it is ¨Where are you going? I made dinner, it´s ready now (4 pm). Are you done with your work yet? How about now? Why do you have homework every night? Don´t go there, there are Columbians on that street. I heard Haitians live there. It´s dangerous. Is there a friend that can go with you? Come back soon. Why do you read so much?¨
I want to become less individualistic, but I also need my space. I do not know how to be sensitive while sticking up for myself. And she is much older, so it is even harder to contradict her. But the food issue needs to be addressed, because that is kind of a central part of life here. Is there a way to protect my sanity while integrating myself into the culture?
So there it is, my first wall. I really feel ill, and it is getting dark, so I should go. Any advice would be appreciated.
5 comments:
Hola Kim,
Mary asked me today when I came back from testing at W&M "How is Kim? Are you keeping up with her?"
Wait til I tell her you're being fried cheesed into oblivion.
You mentioned in an early note that the family gathers Sunday to eat. Watch the next gathering carefully and see who she listens too - probably an adult male child - see if you can talk to one of the younger generations about how to ask her to make less food. Tell them you are concerned she is cooking so much and you aren't a big eater. You don't want her to "over extend" herself or her budget when it really takes very little to feed you. Make sure they know you aren't complaining about her -- but that you are just concerned for her work/effort/budget. Then see if they can help you by going to her when you're not around and saying "mama - you're feeding her too much!" --
I'll start praying....
Definitely big prayers for you! I know that it must be a difficult situation that you're in. I guess some of the things that are going on are due to differences in culture which must be a HUGE adjustment! Just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you and love you!
Hang in there Kim. Remember to center yourself and get caught up in all of the fun you are having and not the stuff that may not be going so well!
I love you and miss you! Good luck with the fried cheesiness...it's better than Huff!lol
A big hug and kiss from me to you!
-Tay
hey, i know you don't want to cross the line and/or be disrespectful to her, but when it comes to your health, it's important enough to raise your concerns in conversation with her. for me, that would be hard to raise concerns and make sure its in a very polite, respectful manner because my spanish is much more limited than yours. but i feel like you could phrase it in a way to say there are certain foods that aren't agreeable with you, and you just don't eat that much and you want her to not have to waste food.
i'm praying for you kim. i hope this works out with your host mom. love you!
p.s. i really like your yoga picture ;)
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